Branding: It’s Not What You Think, It’s What Others Think!
When most people hear the word “brand” their brain shifts to big corporation identities and marketing campaigns, like Nike’s famous swoosh and “Just Do It” tagline or Coca-Cola’s “It’s the Real Thing” ads. But branding isn’t just about advertising, and it isn’t just for Fortune 500 companies. We all have a personal brand!
What’s a brand, you ask? Amazon’s Jeff Bezos put it well when he said, “Your brand is what people say about you when you’re not in the room.” Our brands reflect how we look, how we act and how we speak. But branding is also in the eye of the beholder or, more simply, what other people see in us.
If you haven’t thought about your personal brand it’s time to, in the words of Nike, “Just Do It.” Grab a pen and paper (or your electronic notetaking device) and take a few quick notes of what you hope people are saying about you and whether you’re actually radiating that vibe in your day-to-day activities and/or online presence. If they don’t jive, then it’s time to realign your brand! Consider these examples:
The personal stylist who shows up dressed for anything but success. Sweats and t-shirts work for a personal trainer, but not someone selling higher-end fashion. What would a customer say when you left the room? Are they going to say you’re stylish?
The communicator who doesn’t answer the phone or respond to messages in a timely manner. Do others believe you’ll carry messages effectively if you aren’t a good sender and receiver?
It sounds logical, and it’s pretty easy when we think of professional archetypes. But how about when we look at ourselves and our imperfections? How do you begin?
Start by identifying some adjectives that you believe identify you (in this case, we’ll use “kind”). Then ask yourself:
How do I demonstrate kindness in my daily life?
Am I kind to others as well as myself?
Have there been occasions where I was not kind? How did I manage the situation?
If your answers are disappointing, that’s OK. That means it’s time to realign yourself with your brand, and it’s pretty simple. Think about how you show up:
Walk the Walk. Take steps to act how you want others to see you. If you want to be seen as kind, then be kind. If you want to be happy and engaging, don’t be a grumpy loner!
Talk the Talk. What we say is just as important as how we act. Speak your truth, and make it match your actions. You can’t be trustworthy if you can’t be trusted.
Look the Part. Appropriate dress and grooming matters. Trying to act professional while wearing yoga pants and a t-shirt may be OK for a fitness instructor, but it just won’t work for a fashion stylist or someone trying to impress leaders at work (though admittedly, we’re all tired of virtual meetings and sometimes it’s easier to just roll out of bed and log on).
What brand are YOU projecting? Is it the one you want to share with the world?
If you’re in need of a brand boost for yourself or your business, Patapsco Coaching & Consulting can help. Schedule a free consultation to learn more.
When Life Shakes, Are You Prepared?
Photo: Shefali Lincoln via Unsplash
(Update 2/26/2021: After uploading this blog post, I discovered that Toni Galardi has written an entire book dedicated to life quakes! I’ve added it to my reading list; in the meantime, any similarities between the book and this post are purely coincidental.)
Earthquakes – and their aftershocks - are among the most devastating natural disasters one can ever face. But quakes aren’t limited to the earth below us; our lives can be shaken to the core by a number of factors! But we don’t have to be devastated by them.
Thoughts on earthquakes: When I think of earthquakes, San Francisco and Tokyo come to mind. Over the course of history, these cities have been struck by a number of devastating earthquakes, and each time they’ve survived and rebuilt, often better and more resilient than ever. City leaders didn’t move their metropolises; instead, they learned lessons and moved forward, stronger. (In fact, there’s an entire field of engineering dedicated to earthquake readiness! Read more about it in this this post.)
It’s hard to find someone who hasn’t been impacted negatively in some way by the COVID-19 pandemic. In fact, over the past year, many of us have found ourselves facing major shakeups over the past 12 months as we dealt with stay-at-home guidelines, layoffs and corporate downsizing, sickness and health concerns, and in some cases the loss of loved ones. A recent article in the Harvard Business Review explores the topic of “identity quakes” in light of COVID-19, specifically how the pandemic has changed how we feel about ourselves and others after job loss.
When it comes to life quakes, we all must be “individual engineers.” There are a number of components in play here, among them self-awareness, self-care, goal-setting and personal growth. After all, city managers in quake-prone locales don’t wait for the quake to hit before implementing their best practices; they prepare in advance.
A year ago, I was gainfully employed as the breadwinner of my family. I was as busy as I’d ever been at work. My high-risk parents were healthy. Today, things couldn’t be more different for me: I’ve lost my job, have no income (thanks to a backlogged unemployment system) and I am a motherless daughter. In the days and weeks after I was terminated, I noticed that family and friends were walking on eggshells around me as they waited for a breakdown that never came. I experienced the same trepidation from others after my mother passed in January. The other day, my son asked me why I haven’t fallen apart. It’s a good question, and believe it or not, the answer is simple.
I haven’t fallen apart because I choose not to.
Am I sad and nervous about the future? You bet I am. Do I let my fear and sadness influence how I function? No way – I’m my own individual engineer!
Here are some practices to help you engineer your own response to a life quake:
Understand that the only person who controls your identity is you. Define yourself, don’t let coworkers, friends or even family members do it for you. Granted, they may be a piece of your identity, but you decide the size of that piece. That in turn affects how you’d be impacted if something goes away.
Your attitude toward stress (good or bad) is yours and yours alone. Stressors in life can take many different shapes and forms and can vary in intensity. Take time to look inward to understand your emotions. What makes you happy or sad? What stresses you out? Is there a person that pushes all of your buttons and if so, why? Take note of your most intense emotions (good or bad). What caused the response and how did you react? Were you happy with your response? If not, change it!
Find a silver lining. It sounds trite to be sure, but there is almost always a positive to every negative. When I lost my job, my mom put it well when she said, “When God closes a door, he opens a window.” Think like a survivor: the door is inaccessible, so you’ve got to find a window!
If you don’t like it, change it! If you’re experiencing a life quake and aren’t happy with how you’re reacting, it’s time to make a change. Think about how you want to respond and take steps to make it happen. If you’re not sure what to do, coaching may be helpful.
Not sure if you’re ready to work with a coach? Take our free assessment and see. Ready to get started? Contact us for your first session!
11 Steps to Managing Stress in the New Year
Welcome to our first blog post of the new year – hindsight is officially 2020! With the holidays behind us, many of us are still coping with a number of stressors even as we plan for a better year in 2021. Around the country, virtual work and school is still the norm, COVID-19 numbers are rising and wintry weather puts limits on outdoor activity. It’s easy to feel cooped up and stressed in the dreariness of winter, but there are some things you can do to stay positive and upbeat as we all begin the wait for spring.
Relax! Too much hurry in your day-to-day life only induces stress. Eat, work and walk at a relaxed pace. Take a short break after meals to relax; don’t jump right back into work.
Enjoy what you do. By focusing your mind on things other than your problems, you can keep stress at bay. Do something enjoyable whenever you can.
Appreciate the outdoors. The simplicity of the outdoors – pretty clouds, birds, etc. – often go unnoticed. If you can, do outside at least once a day – or pause by the window to gaze at nature – to reduce your stress level naturally.
Loosen up. Stress causes tension in our neck, diaphragm and shoulders. If you’re feeling stressed out, take deep breaths and roll your shoulders to release tension from those areas.
Re-focus. When we’re worrying, our minds can race. If you find your mind racing, refocus on something around you to help you slow down and take your mind off your worries.
Take breaks. Don’t work continuously for long hours.
Kick off your shoes. Dressing comfortably and wearing loose clothing can help you relax.
Vent (in a positive way). Never hold your feelings in for long periods of time. Finding a safe place or a trusted confidant with whom you can air your feelings is an important part of self-care. Your journal can be a valuable tool in helping sort out your stress.
Breathe. Breathing is one of the most effective stress relief tips. To reduce stress, you have to breathe deeply by inhaling through your nose, pulling all the air into the depths of your lungs. Hold this position for a count of six and then exhale through the mouth for a further count of six. Take care to not hyperventilate; if you feel light-headed or dizzy, resume normal breathing.
Take some time for you. It can be anything like dancing, listening to music, hiking, praying, taking photographs, walking on the beach or swimming. Make a list of easy things you like to do and try to do at least three of them every day. Small activities can be the best stress busters!
Do you have a stress relief tip to add to the list? Tell us in the comments!
Resolving to Set Goals in 2021
2020 – the terrible, awful, never-ending year – is almost at an end, and as we look ahead to the new year, many of us are already thinking ahead. Do you make resolutions? How often do you actually realize them? Studies have shown that 80 percent of us fail in achieving our resolutions. In 2021, resolve to succeed – set goals to make your resolution a reality!
In the corporate world, we use the term “vision” to describe our picture of future success and the term “mission” to describe how we’ll achieve it. Successful corporations around the world understand the symbiotic relationship between vision (what) and mission (how). Apple’s vision is “to make the best products on earth, and to leave the world better than we found it” and they work toward that by bringing “the best personal computing products and support to students, educators, designers, scientists, engineers, businesspersons and consumers in over 140 countries around the world.”
The majority of resolutions fail because we don’t couple them with a plan. Resolutions with goals are more likely to succeed. Consider these examples as you think about your plans for the new year:
Resolution: Declutter my house.
vs.
Resolution + Goal: Declutter my house by discarding or donating at least
50 bags or boxes of unnecessary items.
Resolution: Lose weight.
vs.
Resolution + Goal: Lose 25 pounds by eating more healthy meals
and exercising three times per week.
A vision without a mission is just a dream. Set goals to help your dreams come true in the new year!
Do you need help setting goals for the new year or staying on track? We can help. Schedule your appointment to learn how.
‘Tis the Season… to be Stressed?
When you’re feeling stressed out, sometimes the best thing to do is get some help!
Stress is a natural reaction we have to things that we experience. It’s normal to feel stressed from time to time, but once in a while, stress becomes a problem, and can come from family, social or work situations, finances or illness. Stress can be short-term or long-term, or even become chronic. For some of us, the holiday season can add to our stress – gifts to buy and wrap, cookies to bake, decorations to set up, etc. Our to-do list is overflowing, and it can be overwhelming!
Dealing with stress doesn’t have to be negative. If you’re faced with a new, exciting challenge, it can be exhilarating and motivating – racing toward a deadline or winning a competition is fun! On the flip side, negative stress can pull you down, de-motivate you, or cause your heart to race or your palms to sweat. Negative stress can come from simple things like being stuck in traffic, to more extensive stressors like managing a family member’s long-term illness or financial problems. What triggers your stress and how do you respond?
Proper management of stress is the key to diminishing, preventing, and even eliminating it. Have you ever known someone who never seems to be stressed? Ever wondered how in the world they do it? Chances are they’ve learned to practice effective stress management to successfully cope with the stressful circumstances that we all deal with.
If you’re feeling stressed, here are some simple ways to help manage through it and minimize its impact.
Write it Down - To effectively manage stress, you have to know what’s causing it. Take an inventory of what’s stressing you out and what triggers the most stress for you. Put them in a list with their stress levels (a scale of 1-10 works well) and make a note of how they make you feel (how the stress manifests).
Take Control - Look at your list. Is there anything on your list for which your response can be “easily” resolved? For instance, if you get worked up being stuck in rush hour traffic, it may be time to use that opportunity to catch up on your favorite album or podcast. You can’t control the traffic, but you can make the experience more positive and control how you respond.
Unloading – and Learning to Say “No” – Sometimes, we get stressed because there are things at home or work that we just don’t want to do, or things that we can’t do. Are there things on your list that you can delegate or just let go? Have you taken on new tasks or responsibilities because you feel you have to? Learn to say “no” to extra things that will just end up stressing you out!
Learning how to practice effective stress management in your life can make you happier and healthier. Understanding what brings you stress and adjusting your response goes a long way in helping you enjoy your life and focus your energies on things that really matter to you.
Are you feeling stressed? Is stress management a goal that you have for yourself that you can’t quite seem to get started on? We can help. Schedule your coaching appointment to find out how.
Gaining Clarity, Word by Word
Journals come in all shapes and sizes!
In today’s world of smart phones and devices, we have apps for everything – our calendars, our to-do lists, etc. – but for many of us, taking a high-tech approach to our lives doesn’t always help. Are you feeling more overwhelmed than ever before? If so, keeping a journal might be a good option for you.
There are a number of benefits to writing things down. Science has demonstrated that we learn more effectively when we read, say and write things down. Many of us took this approach to learning during our school years, but it’s just as valuable in our day-to-day lives as it was in the classroom. Whether you are trying to remember what you need to do each day, working out a problem or just trying to jump-start your creativity, keeping a journal will help! Journals can also help us remember details that might otherwise get lost in our busy lives.
Winter is a great time to start journaling, since we tend to hunker down more indoors and have fewer distractions outside our homes (I know, it’s 2020 and we’ve all been cooped up inside – all the more reason to write about the experience. I’m still hopeful for the return of normalcy in 2021). Regardless, journaling helps us slow down and destress, something we all need this year!
Not sure how to start a journal? It’s simple: Grab a warm blanket, a blank notebook and a pen, pencil (or crayon!) and snuggle in and start writing. Your tools needn’t be fancy, so don’t get hung up on those details. A simple notebook and something to write with is all you need.
We’ve compiled a list of prompts to help you if you’re stumped:
Write about:
Talk about your day. What did you do? What worked and what didn’t?
Your favorite childhood friend: What was your favorite thing to do together and what made it so much fun?
An adult in your life who left an impact on you. What made them special?
Your favorite holiday – what makes it important to you?
Your favorite movie – why you love it and when you first watched it. Who was with you?
A book you’re reading, even if you aren’t enjoying it.
A problem you’re facing – who is involved, what the options may be for solution and what you may need to do or say. Sometimes, doing a brain dump on paper helps with clarity.
Do you have a favorite concert you’ve attended? Capture the memory!
A vacation (your favorite vacation ever, one you want to take, etc. If you’re going on vacation, grab your journal and take daily notes about your experience!
Make lists:
Top 10 things you’d like to do post-COVID (aka your “bucket list”). Think big!
Daily to-do lists (check things off when you’re done).
Places to visit, movies to watch, books you want to read, etc.
Bands you’ve seen in person.
Other ideas:
Jot down an impactful quote and what it means to you.
Find a recipe you don’t want to forget? Capture it in your journal.
Copy the lyrics of a song you love (listen to the song while you do it!)
Being Thankful … for Change!
It’s the time of year when many of us turn to thoughts of being thankful – for our friends, our families, the bounty of our harvests. We celebrate with the feast of Thanksgiving and we turn our eyes toward the lights of the holidays. For many, it’s a happy season, and some would argue that we all have something to be thankful for, even our lives are struggling with overwhelming change.
2020 has been a year of overwhelming change. The COVID-19 pandemic has turned the world upside down, and many of us are dealing with change that we never saw coming. If you find yourself struggling with shifts in life this year, remember that your perspective makes a difference. Is your glass half-full or half-empty? Does your cloud have a silver lining? Did another door open when one door closed? Can you grab the bull by the horns and steer or will you let it throw you? Regardless of your preferred idiom, know this: taking control of change is important. As Napoleon Hill said, “Your big opportunity may be right where you are now.”
So how can you manage change in your life?
Acknowledge the Negative, but Stay Positive: It’s easy to say and hard to do, but staying positive makes a big difference. Losing a loved one or finding yourself without a job can prompt significant pain, stress and worry. While it’s important to acknowledge those feelings, it is equally important to take steps to maintain a healthy, positive outlook. Negative emotions are like quicksand; don’t get sucked in. When I lost my job unexpectedly after 19+ years with the same organization, I celebrated having uninterrupted time to finish my coaching certification instead of dwelling on the more negative aspects of income loss, the impending job hunt, etc.
Take Time for Self-Care: Part of managing a healthy outlook is taking care of yourself. Pause in the moment and listen to your body and your mind and do something that healthy and constructive. Perhaps there’s a book you’ve been wanting to read, a hobby you’ve wanted to make time for, a trip you’ve wanted to take. Maybe you just need a relaxing bubble bath. Trust your intuition and ask yourself this question: What do YOU want?
Create a Plan and Put it in Motion: It’s hard to map the unknown, so focus on mapping what you DO know. What do you need to do to overcome the change? Make a list of personal goals that will move you forward. (Not sure about goals? Read this related post.) You need to own it. If you find yourself with a new boss, what are you going to do to make that relationship work? If you’re out of work, what steps do you need to take to find a new one? Even the smallest changes need some kind of plan – take time to make one!
Get Support from your Network: The people around us are important agents to help us navigate change in our lives. Family, friends, professional networks and coaches give you a sounding board for ideas and a source of support. They are the scaffolding you need to build your new normal! Use them wisely, though: let them know what you need, not the opposite. Stick with people who build you up, not the ones who tear you down.
Find Your Future: Change comes in all shapes and sizes. In some cases, change is a simple traffic detour off the main route that slows us up temporarily but doesn’t impact our destination, but other changes can prompt us to question changes in whether we’re on the right path.
Napoleon Hill put it well with the quote, “Your big opportunity may be right where you are now,” and Bob Marley coined this gem: “You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.”
Be Brave - Set Some Goals!
Fear comes in many shapes and sizes. From “normal” fears such as heights or public speaking to less visible fears related to plunging into the great unknown, many of us struggle in our day-to-day lives with things that scare us and we sometimes don’t even realize it.
Are you in a rut in your personal or professional life? Are you standing at a crossroads but not sure which way to go? Self-doubt, indecision or even constructs like the infamous “golden handcuffs” cause you to freeze in place. Sometimes it’s easier to stand in place than it is to move forward – even when standing in place is the worst thing you can do for yourself. When you’re stuck, you’re not moving forward; when you’re not moving forward, you aren’t growing. Finding ways to get “unstuck” may seem difficult, but it’s not impossible.
Set your goal to be brave and move forward!
Setting goals is a strong first step to getting unstuck. If you’re not setting goals, perhaps it’s time to consider them. (If you aren’t clear on how to set goals that work for you, a life coach can help.) If you are setting goals, it’s time to revisit them. Are your goals SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time-based)?
Specific: Goals shouldn’t be ambiguous. It’s far better to say, “Consolidate personal library to fit on three bookshelves” instead of “Clean out the library and get rid of some books.”
Measurable: How will you know if you’ve achieved your goal? Set a metric for yourself: “consolidate library to fit on three shelves,” “remove 10 bags of old clothes,” “schedule at least one networking activity per week” or “exercise three times per week” give you something specific to shoot for.
Attainable: Can you do it, or does the goal require another person? If half of the books in your personal library belong to your roommate, are you actually going to be able to remove their books to achieve your goal of consolidating the collection to fit on three shelves? Remember: The only person you can control is yourself.
Relevant: How does this goal fit into your life? While it’s not uncommon to have a “stretch” goal (and that’s great – they just take longer), sometimes the best goals to work on are the ones that are relevant to where you are in your life right now.
Time-based: Setting a time frame for reaching your goal gives you a deadline and helps you be accountable.
If you’ve never set goals for yourself, it can be daunting. But remember that even the smallest steps can be just what you need to feel enough forward movement to shift out of your rut or to turn a corner. Giving yourself permission to celebrate small successes can give you a boost of self-confidence. Little wins add up to big wins. And everyone deserves big wins!
In the words of Seth Godin, “If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try.”
Big Rocks, Little Rocks
Rivers are filled with rocks. Big rocks, smaller rocks - and even the tiniest of pebbles - make up the beautiful ecosystem you experience when you explore a river like the Youghiogheny (pictured above). On a beautiful day like the one when this picture was taken, there seems to be just a perfect amount of water, sediment - and yes, rocks - running through this channel. But what happens when there’s too much of either of those things? That’s right - this tranquil river becomes a raging torrent of water and debris that races along its path, eroding the landscape, taking down trees, and flooding the surrounding area. It’s a far different experience than the scene above.
Think of your life as a river. How your river flows is directly related to how much you put in it and how you prioritize. The big rocks are your most important priorities; smaller rocks are less important, the sand of the riverbed are even further down the priority list. Over time, the water of your life flows over and around these priorities.
What does your river look like? Is it tranquil and serene, a place where you enjoy existing, or is it overfilled and raging out of control? Do you have too many rocks blocking the flow? If you’re not happy with the flow of your life, it’s time to make a change!
How to do a priority reset:
Utopia: Figure out what matters to you. Take a few moments to think about your perfect life. In a life where you were 100% happy, how would you ideally spend your time? Write these activities down in a list from most important to least important.
Reality: Figure out what’s taking up time. This can be as easy as writing down all of the things in your current life that take up time: Family, pets, friends, job, exercise/wellness activities, hobbies, etc. Put each one on a sticky note, along with an estimate of the amount of time each consumes. Now, line up your sticky notes in order, starting with what is taking up the most time and ending with what takes up the least.
Stand back and assess. Pull out your “utopia” list and compare it to the chain of sticky notes. How do they match up? Were there any surprises?
Plot your path forward. Can these lists be reconciled? For instance, if volunteering is important to you (big rock) but you aren’t spending any time on it, how can you spend more time in that space? Is there another activity that is less important (smaller rock) taking up more time than it should? Could some of that time shift to volunteering? As you move through the exercise, it’s important to understand what you want to keep and what you need to keep.
Rinse and repeat. Nothing just happens overnight. Life is about the journey toward a destination. Life changes, and priorities shift. Revisit this exercise periodically and reassess where you are in relation to your goals.
Still stuck? Does this seem too daunting? A Life Coach can help. Contact Patapsco Coaching today and let us partner with you to help you move forward toward your best life.